When I first went in for counselling at the infertility clinic- one of the first things that I talked about was the fear. The fear of questions.
Questions come all the time.
I worked with Children- and anyone with half a brain can see that I adore them- and they seem to like me allot too.
And so the questions come:
"When are you going to have a baby?"
"Have you and Tim decided when you are going to have a baby?"
And to be honest, the fear of questions is sometimes greater than the challenge of facing them myself.
And so my counsellor said "Plan your answers".
This is Tim and my first answer:
"Hopefully one day" or "We'd love to have kids one day"
This is usually all we have to face. But sometimes there is a follow up question.
"But have you got plans?/Do you know when you'd like to start trying?"
"We have talked about it- but you know we can make plans but its really God who directs our path" or if not Christian 'We've talked about it, but you know sometimes things don't turn out like you plan".
Almost everyone leave it at that. But every so often you will find one person who will not stop.
Sometimes it's nice words "I just figured since you obviously love kids"
Sometimes it's nosey: "But when, I want to know!"
Sometimes it's hurtful: "But you don't want to wait to long, you don't want to get too old".
That's when I loose it. That's when all the pre-planning in the world doesn't help.
"I need to go. Sorry".