I've been thinking about advice iv been given.
I ll share more in future poss but there is one piece that stands above the rest. I can't remember if I heard it from a nurse first, but I definitely read it in a pamphlet on how to avoid post natal depression.
If you are feeling so overwhelmed with emotions that you start to feel angry at your baby, then put your baby somewhere safe, leave the room and have a five minute break.
Most of that time the safe place was Earl's arms (I may or may not have said "tag your it"). Once it was the cot, I left my crying baby in his cot and left the room. Because the house is tiny I could still hear crying so I would have a five minute shower so I could not hear any cries.
At the moments I always felt like a failure. But five minutes later I would return to my boys a new Mum. No longer were they little beings that hated me but they were my boys who needed me and cried because that's all they knew.
Showers were so precious. They were my only real break. Other times I could be intrupted by cries or an apologetic Earl "I think he's still hungry. "
So as strange as it sounds, my best advice for mums is to have a break when your not coping. Because as my Nan said to my Dad when I was his little Sebastian- no babyever died from crying.