So what is happening next?
Stim Cycle is starting straight away, although as a Stim cycle that still means pick up and transfer are over a month away. Next week I start on Provera, soon after that I start on my Lucrin shots, and after my period I will start on the FSH.
I am still praying hard that I will get pregnant naturally this month, as I always do in the lead up to the Stim. I am willing to go through another stim cycle, willing as anything, but I am also quite happy if I don't have to! Sometimes I feel silly, praying for these little miracles, but I still do. It could happen, and how I wish it would!
And so it begins again. I am finding it a daunting process, not the least because my last stim cycle was how we got our little Thumper and there is pain and hope all melted together in my heart. I am fearful of BFN and of a BFP- I do not know if I could survive another heart-breaking loss like Thumpers.
Earl feels he would rather have a baby again, even for a little while, than have another BFN.
So it seems the only way we will both be happy is if we have a baby that lives this next cycle.
Please,please, please AMEN