"Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life" Proverbs 13:12

Monday, July 30, 2012

Never ending drama

The drama never ends with me.

Saturday I was excited about this cycle.  Sunday I was excited about this cycle.  Today (Monday) I got some bleeding.


Who gets bleeding one week after egg pick up?  And this isn't some cute little implatation bleed.  This is fairly thick dark bleeding, with just enough red in their to freak me out (sorry TMI).

I called the nurse who talked to the doctor who decided to check my progesterone levels.  They weren't crazy low but they were (in her words) "A little lower than we'd like".  So I'm now up to two pessaries a day.

And there is still a little more bleeding.  Seriously?  Best case scenario it's just left over bleeding from my massive egg collection.  But it's hard not to see bleeding and think that a ready to implant embryo might have just been lost in the flow.

Now my hopes are almost dashed.  I'm kind of assuming that this cycle is not going to work.  And I'm also thinking- if I had just given up on the transfer, if I'd just had a freeze all, would my beautiful little blastocyst just be waiting frozen for when my body was perfectly ready, instead of risking it's life in my stupidly unpredictable Uterus.

And to give a cherry on top of the disaster that is my day- I'm crazily hormonal right now- and about to up my meds.  Seriously- I've never been so weepy and pathetic.  I feel like this two week wait is going to be a disaster.

Mondays suck.

1 comment:

  1. Just came across your blog. I am in TWW as well - its awful. The bleeding can be scary but hopefully it will settle down with the extra prog. Hang in there.