"Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life" Proverbs 13:12




Saturday, July 28, 2012

Transfer day and how to think

Today I had a transfer of one happy looking blastocyst.  One more was frozen, and another two are being grown one more day to see how they progress.  Four frozen blastos would be a great result, but the still crazy thing is that 9 two day embryos which were the best of the bunch have been frozen as well.  Including the transfer that is 13 embryos.  Amazing numbers. Earl and I have been joking about what life would be like with 13 child.

Of course, we know that 13 children is the most unlikely of outcomes.

It's hard to know how to think.  Ever since we got the news that 18 eggs had fertilised and got to day 2, I have been on a hope high.  After writing my post, I actually couldn't sleep because I was so stressed that we wouldn't be able to handle 18 children and were we irresponsible to fertilise so many.  Earl, a good Christian friend we confided in, and my parents, all think I'm being a little bit silly.  Because of course- the most likely outcome is that most of these babies won't make it.

So far we have had 15 embryos transfered.  Three were biochemical.  One was Thumper.  Now we may have 13 embryos- but in our case that definately doesn't equal 13 babies.  But it might mean one or two.  And that would be wonderful.  And that idea fills me with hope like I haven't felt since that faithful appointment last December when I started really facing the donation option.

Of course, it might mean none.  And it might mean that we are transfering all next year.  It might mean that embryo donation is still our best option, and it is put further away into the future.

But I still feel hopeful for this cycle.  Because, without us intending it, we have been put in a position of having 12 more goes at having genetic children.  We didn't plan it, we didn't expect, and the fact that we have it has one of the premier Australian IF specialists shaking his head.  But this is where we are at.

These embabies are a gift to us.
And I love them all already.  And one is in my belly.

11 days until Beta.
LG

2 comments:

  1. So excited for you and your many em-gifts, LG!!!!!

    ReplyDelete