Well, I'm still very much in the flat, not coping stage. It has been a horrid week, and I usually can't go more than two hours without tears. I am feeling so lost. One of the people's who blogs I read has just announced a miracle pregnancy. It was the first post I read after my period. As happy as I am for her, I don't understand. I don't understand why it is always someone else and never me. That is the theme, the song which keeps jingling round my head "why someone else and never me why someone else and never me why someone else and never me".
The only thing that is keeping me going is Earl.
Earl thinks we are going to have a baby one day. He really thinks we are going to have a baby one day. In fact, I will go so far as to say that he is more hopeful this side of the period than he was before it. This makes no sense to me, but I am grateful.
Perhaps because he doesn't have a medicalish brain, perhaps because he hasn't had to go through everything medical that I have and has seen no result, but Earl believes in miracles. He still believes that every month we can get pregnant. He believes that a new clinic can help. He believes that a baby is in my future and he tells me, "don't give up on life yet Lady, there is a baby coming for you".
I pray it is so!