Hope Deferred: Stupid, Stupid AF

Monday, April 2, 2012

Stupid, Stupid AF

She came in full today, though she had made herself known last night.

I am very, very, very, very angry and upset.

I feel completely blind-sided. I didn't know that she would come so early, and I really took seriously the possibility that I might be pregnant.

Not fair, not fair, not fair.

Don't have the energy for reflection today. Beta on Friday.
LG

2 comments:

LaraApril 3, 2012 at 5:22 AM
I prayed so much for you. I was so optomistic. This just sucks...it's not fair and it sucks! So, so sorry.
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JesicaApril 3, 2012 at 10:51 AM
Sorry to hear this =(
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Our Journey to Date

Jan 2007- Start TTC

July 2007- GP confirms with test that I can ovulate

Aug 2007- GP confirms that Earl's sperm is good

April 2008-Fertility specialist runs tests

June 2008- LG Diagnosed with PCOS, start Clomid

Sept 2008- LG diagosed with Pre-Diabetes. Starts on Metaformin

June 2008-March 2009- LG loses 14 Kg to help her chances of conceiving

March 2009- Start IVF process

April 2009- Stimulated Cycle #1 produces 3 eggs. Two fertilise. One transfered

May 2009 BFN

July 2009 FET- BFN

Aug 2009 Stimulated IVF cycle #2 produces 5 eggs. Two fertilise

Sept 2009- Biochemical Pregnancy

Nov 2009- FET BFN

Feb 2010- Stimulated Cycle, 10 eggs, six fertilised, 4 survive. Fresh transfer cancelled due to risk of OHS

April 2010-FET BFN

May 2010- FET (one embie doesn't survive defrosting process ) BFN (start on Clexane for all transfers)

July 2010- FET Positive test but low Beta. Beta picks up for a week but then heavy bleeding. Beta still up. Several weeks of tests and concern over potential ectopic, before more bleeding and misscarriage diagnosis

Aug 2010- More tests. No more medical issues diagnosed.

Oct 2010- Stimulated Cycle, 7 eggs, 4 fertilised and survive. Transfer

Nov 2010- BFP. First Ultra Sound is very small, but heart beat. Second Ultra Sound is good. We nickname baby Thumper

Dec 2010- Slight bleeding, Ultra Sound shows Thumpers heart has stopped beating.

Jan 2011- Miscarry

April 2011- FET, BFN

May 2011- FET, BFN

Aug 2011- FET, Small Skinny Positive, but Period and BFN on the second test.

Oct 2011- Stim cycle. One embryo. Period/BFN

Feb 2011- Endemetrium biopsy. All looking good.

March 2012-stim cycle. Three embryos. Two transfered. Period/BFN.

March 2012- begin preliminary research into Embryo donation

May 2012-FET using a slight stim cycle to get lining right. Period/BFN

July 2012-Stimulated cycle. 38 eggs! 18 fertilised and made it to day 2! 9 frozen at day 2, the rest grown out to day 5. One transfered, two frozen as blastocysts. Two days later period comes- doctor explained that because of so many eggs, my body picked up on a hormone drop and released my uterus walls.

Aug 2012- waiting a month to transfer the first of 11 embryos!

September 2012- Slightly stimulated cycle for FET. Two embryoes transfered

October 2012-BFP. Beta #308

November 2012- Two heart-beats!

Dec 2012- 12 week scan looks terrific, twins due in late May!!

Jan 2013- twin boys. One is very small so fortnightly scans organised

Feb 2013-small twins growth picks up, looking good!

March 2013- viability

Hope Deferred

"Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life" Proverbs 13:12

Monday, April 2, 2012

Stupid, Stupid AF

2 comments:

Our Journey to Date

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