"Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life" Proverbs 13:12

Friday, April 6, 2012

Transfer plan

You'll be pleased to hear that the nurse who rang up to give me my results was alot nicer than the one who took them. She was very sympathetic and sorry.

But, my silly early period has messed things up a bit. Normally at this clinic they do natural cycles, which would have meant that even though my day 1 was Tuesday, it still would have been fine to start a cycle straight away. But my doctor doesn't want me to do anything normal, I've tried normal so he's all about different! I'm actually having a puregon transfer cycle. Sounds totally weird to me, but I get the logic, stimulate me to ovulate (though not the extent of a normal IVF cycle of course), then pop the embryo back in after I do.

But because I would have had to start the stims pretty early, I am too late for this cycle. I was bummed for a second then strangely relieved. I guess I kinda knew that I wasn't up for two roller coaster months in a row.

So it begins again. A month off, followed by a month on again. I'm glad we are doing different now. Because Thumper was a fresh baby, I often feel like frozen cycles are never going to work anyway. So different at least gives me a little glimmer of hope.

Life is half impossibly hard, and half not to bad. Hoping the "not so bad" starts winning the comp pretty soon. I'm so exhausted from sadness.

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