One of the things that is really difficult about this year (one of the things, there are many) is that at the end of this year I am going to be moving interstate and leaving my job. And I don't know what I am doing with my life.
Some women have a job that they do before they have kids, and it will be the job they do after they have kids. Some women struggle with the choice of career verses kids. Some women long to have kids, but have a job they are doing which provides comfort and purpose. That is me now. But that job will be gone soon.
I know what I like to do, but for various reasons it's not really an option next year. Which means I have no idea what I am going to do next year for work. And it's particularly hard because of what I really long for. I want to be at home looking after my kids. But I don't have any living here on earth, so I can't.
I'm too old to live in this limbo state of nothingness.
But here I am.