"Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life" Proverbs 13:12

Thursday, June 16, 2011

Where we are at?

Aunty Flo is due sometime next week.

I am praying for a miracle, and I am alot more hopeful than I've been for a while on a ordinary-persons cycle, but I am still planning for the AF future.

The difficult thing is that in the middle of July I have probably the biggest event of the year for work. I am running and coordinating a Kids program with 22 volunteers (including lots of teenagers we are training up), and 65 kids for three days. While everything else I can delegate or put off for a transfer, this just isn't one of them. So when AF does make her appearance I have to do a big calculation and think as to whether there is any chance of transfer having at the same time as the kids program. Because if there is, I will really have to wait another cycle before trying our last little Embie.

I'm hoping to do acupuncture too, particularly in the lead up to the tranfer. But I found out that my private health insurance doesn't cover it, and it is quite expensive. So Earl and I are still in discussions about it. I think we will still go ahead, but it won't be able to be too regular a thing, maybe just around the actual transfers.

Earl's struggling. I feel like I've had time to recover from our conversation on the weekend. Earl hasn't. He is feeling very raw and weak, and I don't always know how to encourage him (though he says I'm doing a good job- yay!). He said to me, "If only we got pregnant and had a kid it would all be okay".

I know what he means. I think that all the time. It would be a huge answer to the millions of questions we are dealing with at the moment. But at the same time, one of the biggest things that came to me as we talked as this: "God is still God even if we never get pregnant". It's hard to hold onto, when we want something so desperately, but it's true. It will be okay, because God is still with us, whatever happens.

Please pray for us and please pray for Earl.

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