"Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life" Proverbs 13:12

Thursday, March 22, 2012

Today is the day, and I'm not anxious at all...

Last night my friend was asking how my IVF scans were going and I told her it was all going ahead (I didn't tell her the specific time, I want the freedom to be able to say or not say what happens).

She was fascinated and asked a few questions about what it was like to inject myself, and how I felt about the op. "You mustn't be sleeping at all" she said, amazed. I struggled and told her that anxiety doesn't generally affect my sleep very much.

But as I lay in bed tossing and turning I realised not only wasn't it true last night, it isn't really true any night right before a pick up. My mind is running at a million miles an hour, and I am too nervous to sleep.

This clinic has two different policies to our old. One, no Earl during the pick-up :( Two: Fast from mid-night until after the pick-up (it was six hour fast at my old clinic). This includes water, so I've been a bit paranoid, I drank most of the glass by my bed at 11:40 (still awake) and then emptied it into the sink so i wouldn't wake up dozy in the night and drink. This morning there was an open water bottle on my desk, I put the lid on and moved it out of my sight.

And my dreams! I dreamed that Earl wanted to go out on the town to celebrate the op, and that we went to a restaurant and ate garlic bread at 2am. I kept telling Earl, "I'm supposed to fast". Earl just didn't think it was a big deal, and I got over it, but as we headed home I began to panic about garlic breath since I wasn't able to brush my teeth before the procedure. I woke up and spent several minutes telling myself that I hadn't eaten any bread, that my breath was fine, and it would all be okay :)

So I guess you could say I'm a little stressed.

Op in Three hours

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