"Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life" Proverbs 13:12

Monday, March 12, 2012


I haven’t been a very regular blogger the last few weeks. I’ve been far to social in the real world, which probably isn’t a bad thing! :)

Nephew is cute! Very very cute. I adore him so much already. Everytime I hold him I just keep saying over and over again “He’s so cute, He’s so cute”. I think his parents are getting a bit sick of it ;)

Last night I was at their place and I got to do a feed (expressed milk), burp and nappy change. It was so precious. When I was changing him his arms and legs were just so long and little. And it was the first nappy change where he didn’t cry once, which shows he is already a big fan of Aunty Grey!

There were two tough moments. The first was when I was holding him and I thought about our upcoming cycle and Thumper. I looked down at his precious face and I said to my ovaries and uterus See, this is what we are fighting for, don’t let me down! I also prayed with tears in my eyes, “Please God, let me have a little one of my own to hold”. Most people have a stage where they just naturally attach to Children. Earl gets on famously with the 2-4 year olds. Me, I love all ages (and 2-4 is pretty awesome) but there is something about newborns that melts my heart. It’s been so long since I’ve spent time with such a new-newborn and it is creating such an ache in my heart.

Second hard moment was at dinner when Earl’s Dad did a little speech welcoming Nephew to the family. I am so glad that Nephew is here, but it still feels weird and wrong that we didn’t have the first Grandchild coming home.

But I probably should update you on what’s happening with my cycle.

Day 1 was Saturday. I began my injections yesterday. I feel like I am already bloated, though that is probably my imagination. My first scan is on Friday, when they will decide when I should take my antagonist medication, and whether I will have future scans or a trigger. I am working on the assumption I won’t be ready straight away, it’s always taken me about 5 days after my first scan before my ovaries are ready to go.

The timing is pretty sucky! Earl has an interstate graduation on Monday night. I can’t even book my flights until Friday, because I don’t know if I will have a scan on Monday or Tuesday morning. And there is also the slight possibility I might have the egg pick up on Tuesday, which means that we might be flying back home at 6am on the morning of the pick-up! But I’m guessing that earlier timing is unlikely. It’s so silly, the one big event we have on this month, and it falls smack bang in the middle of the cycle!

But if we get our BFP, I won't care in the slightest.


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