"Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life" Proverbs 13:12

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Back to the waiting game

We had the ultra-sound. Almost without realising it was about to happen, there was little baby with a very obvious heart beat. I couldn't believe it. It was so precious!

The ultra-sound lady took a measurement and said they were a week smaller than expected. Is that a problem? 'It sometimes happens with IVF" she said, but she reassured us.

I thought I'd ring up the clinic just to see if we should be worried at 3pm. There was no need. At 2:30 I got the call. "We got your results back and it's not looking good".

But, but, but, we saw a heart beat?!?

24 hours of hell. So, so sure the baby would go at any minute. Until I talked to the counsellor and was reassured- it still might go on. It just also might not.

And so we are back in the waiting game. And ever almost throw-up and ever day without bleeding is an answered prayer.

Three options:

-Misscarriage this week.
-Next weeks follow up ultra sound- baby hasn't grown enough this week. More waiting, more bad signs.
-Next weeks follow up ultra sound- baby has grown enough this week. Good sign. Not out of the woods. But maybe back in the normalish territory.

You can guess what I pray for.

Trying not to think about the future. Just today. And maybe the day after.
Lady Grey

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