We got the call last night. The call that I have been stressing and dreading for the last three years.
Earl's sister is pregnant.
What happy/sad news. Seriously- I can't put it another way. It is so happy/sad. It is not sad. It is not happy. I am thrilled and I am devastated.
It is so weird because I know this little one is going to be the most precious baby to me in the world- other than my own kids. This is my neice or nephew!
But it seriously feels like I've been punched in the face (Thumpers due date) and then kicked in the guts (this news). I pray every day for a baby. But sometimes I add a little post script "Please, please, please, whatever happens, please let us have a baby before Earl's sister". In the time that we have been trying each side of the family has had someone who has had "The first great-grandchild". Who has not been us. Now the first Grandchild is gone too.
Another case of a prayer being answered with no.
In very good timing, I read this wonderful post about these kind of situations here. It helped me. Because I always feel so guilty about how I feel about other pregnancies. But it's another thing that Infertility robs you of. The chance to be truly joyful for your friends.
I am encouraged that so many of you who blog have such wonderful relationships with your neices and nephews. I pray for the same.
Please pray for me. It's getting really hard.