Today could have been a really lovely day. It was farewell from a very special job I'v been doing. And it was a really lovely day today whenever I was busy. And yet when I had a moment to myself I just couldn't help feeling in despaired. I really, really, really thought I was pregnant. And I'm not. It's just so overwhelmingly unfair.
You hear all those lovely stories about how "I really hoped and prayed I'd have a baby before Christmas" or, "Exactly a year after loosing by baby I was pregnant again" and it comes true. I thought I was going to be one of those lovely stories but I am not. I am never a lovely story. I am that never successful, always awful- 'person you never want to be' stories. All the things I've dreaded, Christmas, the day we lost Thumper, my SIL Pregnancy, My BFFs pregnancy, they are all happening with no baby and its too hard.
I read other blogs about people who are nine weeks, exactly where I was when I lost Thumper.
OH GOD, PLEASE THIS IS ALL TO HARD, PLEASE DO SOMETHING!
And I'm a bit worried that some people have stopped reading my blog because they think I'm pregnant. I'm not, please come back! I need your support through all this!