Life is mad and crazy at the moment, I've only just caught up with my usual blogs and I'll give you a very brief update. Moving in exactly a week, madly packing and finishing up work. Rolls of sadness wash over us every so often, but we are also trying to remember that getting pregnant this month would have been a bonus, nothing has changed if you cut out basically a week and a half.
But it still really sucks for all that. I don't even know if I'm morning a baby or not. But I'm most definately morning a beautiful dream.
A friend wrote me an email about how she loves new year. The time of new possibilities. That is how I am trying to think about 2012. It will be different, new city, new job, back with our beloved families. There will be tough things like watching my SIL, BFF, and others have their babies before me. But they will be oportunities to try to enjoy others babies even when its tough. And it is a new clinic, a new specialist, and perhaps new chances to have a pregnancy that stays. I am apprehensive, but also a little excited.
I wish, wish, wish I could go into this year pregnant. 2011 has been so very hard, the hardest year of my life. But it is almost over. And maybe 2012 will be the year when I finally get to hold a baby in my arms.
And that is what I pray for all of you out there too.