"Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life" Proverbs 13:12

Saturday, February 25, 2012

Just a happy day

Sometime I wish for just a happy day. A day that is completely free from IF misery.

I had been really looking forward to yesterday. And it was a great day in many ways. But it wasn't just a happy day.

Had a great coffee with BFF. It was lovely to be able to go back to our normal friendship after the semi-fight of last time. I had been really worried, worried that she was annoyed at me, worrying that she responded to my text late because she didn't want to see me. Not at all. We had a lovely catch up.

And that night I had round Earl's siblings and their partners. I saw it as a kind of an end of an era celebration, because when SIL has her baby (due in less than a week) then everything will change. No one else gets it. When I mentioned it SIL got offended and said "Yes, we'll still do games nights all the time, he can just sit in the corner". I don't think anyone in my family (except my MIL) really gets that babies change your life!

I decided to play the dixi chicks.

I hadn't put on a dixi chicks album for years.

There is a dixi chicks song called "Lullaby", and it is one of the most beautiful, tear jerking songs I know. It's a mother singing to their child.

The Chorus goes like this:
How Long do you want to be loved
Is forever enough
Is forever enough
How long do you want to be loved
Is forever enough
coz I'm never ever giving you up

It began to play in the backgroud, and my heart aches. The last time I had heard it I had imagined singing it to my kids. That was before IF, before I knew that there may not be any kids to sing it to.

So it wasn't just a happy day :(


  1. I'm sorry. I get it. Not having a happy day here, either.

  2. Hugs from the other side of the world, LG!!! Big hugs and lots of love!!! I totally get it!!!