"Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life" Proverbs 13:12

Friday, February 1, 2013

The hardest two week wait of my life

Two week waits. We are all familiar with them. It's the world that the If person revolves around. We wait to see if this month is the month it happens. Wait and see if that embryo has attached. So much horrible, heart wrenching waiting.

Now, unexpectedly, the wait begins again.

In two weeks time (well, a little less, Wednesday week), the best radio gist/obstetrician in my hospital will be looking at Dancer to see if he's grown.

Worst case: he dies. But doc thinks with such strong vitals now it is unlikely it will happen so soon.

Second worst: he drops further behind

next: he grows by the two weeks

best: he begins to catch up

How do you face that kind of wait? And even if the best happens, he isn't out of the woods.

But you can't put life on hold. Particularly as we don't necessarily want the world knowing things when we ourselves know so little.

Yesterday Mum and I went to Ikea to buy things for our house. Not baby things, just things to create more space. I told her "lets pretend things are fine" and so we went gaga over bunk beds and high chairs that stack. Life goes on. Because you can't put off life for 10 to 18 weeks of waiting.

But I wish I could.

I wish I could just go to bed and wake up with my babies in my arms.

Fight little Dancer. Please fight!


  1. Dancer is a fighter! He has been fighting the odds since you became pregnant. I remember when you guys found out there was baby b. odds were against him and he made it. I cant say what is going tohappen, but I am holding onto hope.

  2. Thanks Toni! It's good to remember that.

  3. Prayers for all of you. So sorry you are having to face this. I keep thinking how far he had come and grown so far- and he has had the same cord providing for him from the beginning. God is faithful. If you need some inspiration chech out their story here:


    Hugs to you!