"Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life" Proverbs 13:12

Saturday, August 27, 2011

Only just survived...and a request

Well, the wedding was lovely, and the family dinner to celebrate my sister-in-laws birthday was also pretty good. We arrived late, so we missed most of the baby talk. But I cried all the way home. It's just so very hard.

But I made it through the wedding without crying or falling apart. And Earl coped by deciding that his best mate deserved an awesome wedding day and that he would put his pain and hurt aside and make the wedding about the groom. He is such a special, strong man (Earl I mean, though the Groom is great too). And I think I've discovered a pretty neat trick for coping with my sister-in-laws pregnancy. As I've said previously, I find pregnancies hard, but babies I can handle. So knitting something for my nephew has been wonderfully therapeutic because it makes me think of him as an actual baby, and not as the little bump that is starting to emerge. It's still really hard, but when I have the knitting in my hand, I just feel so much better.

And here is my request.

I feel funny asking this, but I was wondering if everyone who reads this, followers, lurkers, or anyone who just happens on this post, who is a prayer, to pray for me. You see one of the things I am finding so hard at the moment is that my prayers for a baby, my thousands and thousands and thousands of prayers for a baby over the last 5 years have not been answered. And it feels like my prayers don't work.

I know it doesn't really work like that, I know that God loves me and listens and that it is only in my head that I am somehow curst in the prayer department.

But it would be such a comfort to know that there were people, other than me and Earl, who were praying for this next cycle. And as we don't have large numbers of people 'in the non-virtual world' who know about the upcoming cycle- I really would appreciate my IF sisters to be praying. I know many of you pray anyway for me (and I appreciate it so much) but if you could make a special effort in the coming months to remember us regularly in your prayers? I know everyone has a hard road but our road is feeling extra hard at present and it would be such a comfort to know that there were people out there petitioning our heavenly Father on our behalf, that he would finally give us life and not death?

Thanks so much for your encouragement and words. They help so much.
love Lady Grey


  1. I will be praying that God's will for your next cycle will be a healthy baby. It is so hard to have our limited perspective on how God works through infertility and loss- trying to figure out why He doesn't grant everyone a baby who longs for one is just impossible.