"Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life" Proverbs 13:12

Monday, August 22, 2011

Some more thoughts on the SSP and next steps

I have now had nearly had 24 hours to process my SSP.

IT is still really hard to know how to think.

In many ways, I feel exactly as I did before the beta. There is a chance that I will have a baby, there is a chance we will not. There is no finality or answers. It is just a continuation of the unknown.

But at the same time it is also very different, because of what it might mean.

The weird cramps and the unusual amount of bloating has a reason behind it. And whatever happens, we have another implantation. My evil killer Uterus has done the right thing once again. Is it the accupunction? It is the weight loss? I don't know what caused it but something has worked.

This little one was always a slight increased risk of a biochemical pregnancy, because the "baby" bit of the embryo was quite a bit smaller than I've seen in previous embryos. But maybe there is a baby still there and growing, it just needs to catch up a bit?

I don't know.

Praying like crazy. Have to wait until Thursday for my next beta, to see if it doubles or increases to the rates they expect.

But I'm still bloated and still haven't bleed, which is much more than I can say from the last time this happened.

Really praying this baby makes it,

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