"Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life" Proverbs 13:12

Thursday, January 3, 2013

A pretty massive decision to make

17 weeks today!  Earl is still paranoid about the bump and actually asked the doctor if it was normal sized.  He at first didn't want to say (17 weeks is too early to think about size), but he could tell Earl was stressed so he said "She looks normal for 17 weeks".  Symptoms aren't that different, constipation has picked up but it is very manageable   The doctor has also put me on insulin to get my blood sugars in tact.  At first that seems like a failure  but it seems like the best thing for my bubs and everyone seems to agree that I'm doing a great job sticking to the eating plan they've given me (Gold star for LG!).

But today's appointment brought up an important questions.  C-sec or V-birth?  The doctor said it would be good to make the "preference" now, and while it might need to change (if we go with V-birth and then the babies are breech), he thought it was better to plan now rather than spend the rest of the pregnancy stressing.  So we have four weeks to decide.

If we didn't have any embryos in storage, I think I would lean towards a C-sec.  C-sec seems to be the safest option for the babies.  And the doctor assured us that there is a good chance we could try for a V-birth in future (singleton) pregnancies, or we can (most likely) manage at least 3 more C-secs after the first one.  But we have nine embryos.  And I just don't think how to plan for them.

Obviously they might all not make it.  We've tried for a long time and these bubs might just be our fluke/miracle.  But it could be that the steroid I'm on make the difference, and all nine can make it.  But I think it's highly unlikely they will recommend 9 births after a C-sec.

I know it sounds ridiculous.  We are in the realms of the fantastical.  The odds of 9 more babies is so small.  But if there is a chance...?

Of course we could (and we would) adopt out any embryos I couldn't carry.  But my preference would be to carry all my babies if it were possible, and to make plans that make it possible.

Anyway, this is just the process that adds to the complication of what would otherwise be a normal decision.

And you want to know a secret.  I am scared of a C-sec.  It seems so silly, given all the procedures I've been through.  But it's the truth.

So suddenly there is this new world to think about.

We are now less than a month from our scan.  I can't wait.  Some days I CAN wait, as the fear creeps up that its not all okay.  But today is not one of those days.  Doc was very reassuring that the movements I'm feeling are a very good sign.

Which is good.  Because I am so desperately in love with these too little ones.

1 comment:

  1. That is a huge decision to make. Hopefully as time gets closer you can decide and feel confident about it. Either way you will get your beautiful little babies :)