"Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life" Proverbs 13:12

Sunday, May 1, 2011

Like a hamster on a wheel

And so it begins again.

Tomorrow morning is the first bloodtest of the new cycle. And so once again we are faced with the question- will a transfer go ahead? And if it does, will there be good news.

The irony is that once again I am faced with a trip away on the weekend around when the transfer might happen. My Mum and Sister adn I try to have a weekend away together every year in May to celebrate our combined birthdays (It's April, May, June for us). Last year it was cancelled so I could be a bridesmaid at my BFs wedding, and so this one I was really looking forward to. We are going to an area famous for it's Day Spas and Mum's booked us in for dinner at one of the most famous restaurants in the state. I have been so excited about it. Now there is a chance that I might have to join them late because of bloodtests. Of course I don't care about weekends away as much as my babies- but after facing one disappointment it is hard to think that this next time will be any different. And once again something I have been looking forward to is pushed and changed due to IVF

Oh I miss Thumper so much! I am suppose to have a big belly right now. I'm suppose to be having a baby shower and decorating a nursery. I'm suppose to be getting ready to meet my son/daughter. But instead it's just another round on the hamster wheel. Spinning, Spinning, working so hard and getting nowhere!

But I am trying to be positive. My counsellor/therapist just happened to ring on my hard day last week (when I wrote my last post). Her words didn't mean much at the time, but now I think of them. That things look good. That the doctors are positive. That one negative test does not mean it will never happen.

Please Father, let it be this month!

1 comment:

  1. could you take a month off, if you are feeling too swept along by the current of infertility procedures? praying for you as you wait for a little one in your arms-