"Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life" Proverbs 13:12

Saturday, November 12, 2011

Dealing better

There are many reasons I am writing this post, the main one being so that when I go to my blog I don't see the first line of my previous post. Everytime I do I get a little turn in my tummy.

Though, to be honest, I am dealing with BFFs pregnancy better than most. I mean, I am a mess today, but most of the time its not about her being pregnant but it's about the consequences. It's the ackward "Isn't it exciting that X is pregnant" conversations I am going to have to have with our huge number of mutual friends. It's dreading the conversations about the fear and struggle that I know is going to posess her over her impending and early motherhood (because I know her so well, i know she is the sort of person who will find the baby stage really hard, and watching her find it really hard will be really hard for me). But when I think about her baby, I actually get excited at the thought of meeting it, and having what I am sure will be a huge role in its life.

I guess I've faced my worst announcement (my sister-in-law having a baby before me) and so everything else is still hard, but not as earth shattering.

But I'm so fragile. Really, really fragile.

Anyway, sleep will help.

Night Y'all :)

1 comment:

  1. How I hate those conversations!! So tough!!! I so understand how fragile you are! I also think there's a strange strength in recognizing our own fragility... Anyhow, sleep always helps!!!! I hope you're getting some good rest, w/ some sweet, sweet dreams!!! Big hug!!!! <3