"Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life" Proverbs 13:12

Monday, April 1, 2013

IF glasses

I do my best not to have IF amnesia through everything. It's difficult sometimes, particularly as I'm just so excited about the boys. But it's funny how when people make insensitive or naive comments I realise  it's just not possible to totally forget.

Not that it's the same. Comments that would have sent me home crying just feel me with frustration or exasperation. The sting is gone to a certain extent and I don't ever want to forget or take that for granted.

There are two relationships where this has been bubbling away.  The first is a girl I'm, for want of a better word, mentoring. She is young. Not just young in age but in outlook. She and her husband are telling everyone that she is going to study, then have a baby after this year. She has even hinted it on Facebook!. Earl has already told them off for that one. She is fascinated by the twins, and keeps asking for advice. She is stressing about maternity clothes and people touching her not even existing bump. I keep waiting for the perfect "in" to talk about how unhelpful her attitude is, but it hasn't come. But I need it to, because I'm growing resentful.

The second person (or people) are my brother in law and his wife.

I've talked about them before. Not quite as public and naive, but still planners who think they have it all figured out.  There comments before the twins really hurt. There comments now, well, to be honest, maybe because I've known my BIL for ten years and because I still see him as a little teenager, sometimes I just feel like he's just a little kid who makes me laugh with his naivety.

They are going overseas for a wedding.  It's in May, so I hope they'll be back for the boys arrival.  SIL talked about how it's probably their last chance for a spontaneous trip before kids. This irked me a little, but not too much.

Then BIL got excited. See, he works for schools and so has more time off than his wife. He said to her, when your home with a baby, we can go on holiday adventures every school holidays. This is naive on about five levels- but of course, the possibility of IF was at the front of my mind, as I reflected on how often I had thought that when I was working and Earl was a student.

I don't want to be ungracious. After all, it was a very naive LG who started this journey. But now i see the world through IF glasses. And sometimes I wish I could just say what I think to them all.  "You think IF wont happen to you? It happened to me. Why do you assume you get a smooth road?"

But I never have the guts.  I hope you all had an okay weekend, and that no ones April fool joke were insensitive.

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