"Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life" Proverbs 13:12

Sunday, October 7, 2012

Half a hope

I know that there is no gareentee that I am pregnant until and unless I get a positive pregnancy test tomorrow.

I know there is always a chance that the synthetic hormones in my system are the reason that my period hasn't come, despite it being "due" on Friday.

But I also know that there is only one other time (on this medication) that I got this far along without bleeding.  And that was when I was pregnant.

So I am a little excited.  But trying to hold it in.

The funny thing is this week started so badly.  My Pa in hospital, and the one week wait was just begining.  Earl and I prayed to God, we prayed that he would give us good things to get us through this week of pain and waiting and suffering.  And it has been an amazing week in so many non-IF ways.  And despite a million stressful moment fearing the worst, my period hasn't come.

I don't know how I would have got through this weekend if my period had come.  We went to a wedding yesterday, and I was driving the car for the bride and groom.  How could I have coped, doing that, with Earl not around, if I had found out I wasn't pregnant?  Today we had church and we were both very involved.  But still no period.  If I get my period tomorrow, or if I'm not pregnant I will still be very grateful that these last two days were able to be wonderful when they could have been so bad.  It was a really great gift.

But I'm still praying for the greater gift.
Please, Please Father.  BFP?